Kristeen’s Khaos

Friday is Halloween and I will be taking my girls trick or treating.  However, my oldest daughter is going to be off from school that day also and I wanted to go to Oak Glen for my family’s annual Apple Farm trip.  It’s been a tradition in my family ever since I can be remember to go to Oak Glen at least once every fall and now that I have my own family I like to do the same thing too.  The Apple Farm has changed drastically from when I was a little girl.  It’s much more suburb like rather than rural and they’ve added more things like jumpers, pony rides, and a train ride to do rather than just stick to the apple farms, apple turnovers/pies, and the petting zoo.  None of this bothers me too much except that it seems to cost alot more than it used to in order to spend a day there.  Oh and the apple pies are absolutely the best you’ll ever have…made with fresh picked apples from the local apple orchards, homemade pie crust, homemade apple cider, and other all natural fresh goodies.  I’m getting sidetracked with thinking of the scrumptious apple pies but they are really that good!

My dilemma is whether or not I should go to the Apple Farm on Friday or not?  I’m worried that it might be too much excitement, not to mention to much sweets, for my girls that day.  I don’t like to go on the weekends because it’s way too crowded and it’s even pretty crowded on Fridays unless you go and leave before the early afternoon which we normally do. Since my oldest started kindergarten this year, I didn’t think we’d get to go but since she’s off on Halloween Friday I feel like we should go.  I guess we’ll probably end of going and hopefully the girls will fall asleep for a while on the way home then they’ll be re-energized to go trick or treating that evening.  Plus, I’m hoping since it’s Halloween the Apple Farm will have some special deals on apple pies and will be less crowded since people will be wanting to get ready for Halloween evening.  So I guess we’ll be at the Apple Farm on Halloween after all.  That should be fun…it’s the first time I’ll ever have been there on Halloween.

After such serious topics from before, I felt like changing to something lighter like my current obsession (other than chocolate )…MLP!  MLP stands for My Little Pony and yes MLP is definitely my new obsession.  Actually, it’s not really new because I had a nice collection when I was younger but then I got rid of my “little kid” ponies because I was too grown up.  It’s really too bad that I did that because if I had kept them they would’ve been worth some money today and I wouldn’t have to be re-collecting like I am now and have been for the last 2 years. 

Personally I don’t think I’m obsessed but rather just an avid collector.  I have at least 150 MLPs from all three generations with most my collection being comprised of G3s.  BTW…the generations are commonly referred to by MLP collectors as G1 (released early 1980s to early 1990s), G2 (released mid 1990s to late 1990s), & G3 (released 2002 to now).  I also have a small collection of about 15 custom ponies.  Customs are Hasbro MLPs that are transformed into whatever the artist (customizer) creates or gets commissioned to do.  Customs are my favorite right now because the Hasbro MLPs out right now are all the same repetitive “core 7″ ponies with just different designs…boring! 

I’m also a member at MLP Arena (http://www.mlparena.com if you want to check it out).  It is the coolest place ever…at least for me and others like me who are also addicted to MLP!  It is a site completely devoted to MLP and it has soooo many forums.  The forums range from customs to pony art to adoptables to international hard to find ponies to mini comic book threads to sales/trade to bragging about your collection.  And the people on there are some of the nicest I’ve ever met online…everyone is friendly, helpful, supportive, and encouraging.  It’s a fabulously fun place to hang out and chat about everything and anything MLP and more!

Sometimes I feel a bit strange that I actually really like MLP as much as I do.  I admit I think it’s a bit immature and I wonder what is wrong with me that I’m so into MLP.  My family always teases me about my obession for MLP and they think I’m missing a few marbles because of it and maybe I am.  But you know what?  I don’t care!  I LOVE MLP…so what?!  Get your own obsession ! 

Okay so I want to know what the heck is going on with our economy…are we in a recession or depression or are we just being dramatic about the whole thing?!  I don’t think there’s one person out there who’s explained it well enough for me.  Some blame it on irresponsible homeowners, others blame corrupt Wallstreet or CEOs, others blame the President and/or Congress.  Frankly, it doesn’t matter to me who’s fault it is…okay that’s a lie because it does matter so we can prevent this type of thing from happening again…but this is ridiculous.  How could no one have seen this coming?!  I mean there have to have been signs along the way but they were obviously ignorerd or we have people in charge that are really really stupid and uncaring about the direction of the US’s financial situation.  How many bailouts and billions of dollars do we need to dig ourselves out of this mess?  Because obviously that’s not even working…at least not any time soon!

Plus it drives me absolutely crazy that neither of our two presidential candidates (do people even realize that there’s more than just two…there are other parties out there other than just Democrat and Republican) seem to know any more than our current president about the state of our economy and definitely have no better plans than our current president as far as fixing the mess that we’re in.  If you listen to the presidential debates, although maybe tonight’s might be different but I’ll have to judge that later for myself, neither has specifically addressed just what they’re going to do to stabilize and improve our economy…it just seems like their respective parties’ dogma.  HELLO…that’s not what I want to hear!  I want to feel confident in the people running this country politically that they have some smarts about what’s going on and that they’re not just BSing like typical politicians which is exactly how I feel about both the Democratic and Republican presidential candidates…let me not even get into the VP candidates.

Anyway…Kristeen’s Khaos is no longer just about me…it’s about all of us.  We all need to get out the vote and tell our future president and screwed up Congress (can we replace these incompetent and most likely corrupt people) what we demand since they’re supposed to be working for us and not special interests.  BTW…please don’t tell me that only one party or presidential candidate is bought out by special interests…that’s just not the way it is in politics!  We, the people, must unite and take our voting power to change the political and economic system…it’s our inherent right!

So is it just me or is every person’s senior year, particularly the last quarter or semester, a time of reduced effort and/or concentration?  Some might call it laziness but I’d call it a case of senioritis.  No matter how you name it, I think it’s a real problematic issue as it definitely is for me.  I find myself in my last quarter struggling to find a strong sense of motivation to study, especially in the manner that I am used to…type A, anal retentive, perfectionist, etc.  I also vaguely remember this occurring during my senior year in high school.  Actually, I know it did because I went from being an honor roll student to getting my first D ever in my life and at least a couple of Cs too…although this may have something to do with the fact that my parents got divorced the summer of my senior year but that’s an entirely other issue…maybe a good subject for my next blog. 

However, despite the senioritis that occurred during my senior year in high school, this time I can’t blame that lack of motivation on any thing or anyone other than myself.  This latest time I’ve returned to college I’ve been highly motivated and have pushed myself to really do well and it’s paid off because I’ve maintained a 4.0 gpa every quarter since my return.  Part of that motivation is that I wanted to raise my overall gpa and attempt to graduate with a 3.9 overall gpa so I could get the highest honors when I graduate but then I found out that I’d be graduating sooner than I thought (definitely a good thing) so that 3.9 gpa was out of my reach no matter how hard I tried.  Perhaps even the 3.8 is out of my reach even if I got all A’s this quarter but I can’t screw up graduating with honors, a 3.5 overall gpa, as long as I pass all of my classes this quarter so my attitude about school is laissez faire (did I spell that right?).  But I guess maybe that’s how it should be your last quarter of college.

 Well…it’s only taken me 10 years to do it but I’m finally going to finish my bachelor’s degree in December.  The funny thing about it is that you’d think I’d be really happy about it.  Don’t get me wrong…I am proud of myself and I am the first person in my family to get a bachelor’s degree but I don’t feel happy about it, which is weird because everyone assumes that I am and I feel like I should be excited, thrilled, overjoyed, etc. but I’m not.  So why my ambivalent feelings about graduating?

I know the main reason is because I’m going to be trading school for work and frankly, I have major anxiety about that.  I haven’t worked since I had my first child, which was 6 years ago, and I’m concerned not only about getting a job, especially in this economy, but also about my family since we are all used to a certain way of life and this will change dramatically once I begin working full time outside the home.  I worry about how my 2 girls will adjust:  who’ll be watching them and what they’ll be doing and the fact that I’ll be missing out on stuff that I can do now, like volunteer at my oldest daughter’s kindergarten class.  I know my husband would like me to be able to continue to be at home too but living in Southern California we both need to be working if we’re ever going to move out of my mom’s house and live in a decent area. 

Another reason why I’m probably not as happy as I should be about graduating is that I feel like it’s something I should’ve done a long time ago.  From the time I started school, my parents expected me to excel in education and lucky for me I was able to meet or exceed their expectations in maintaining a certain gpa and being involved in extracurricular activities, at least until I graduated from high school.  That’s when the disappointment started for my parents and education was put on the back burner for me.  I got a full time job and only went to a community college part time…not what my parents wanted for me since they expected me to be a doctor or lawyer or something that required lots of higher education and lead me into a career that would ultimately allow me to make lots of money.  And I suppose it didn’t help my education for me to elope with my husband, who only has a high school diploma, and then get pregnant within the first few months of our marriage and force my mom (since my parents are divorced) to take the additional responsibilities not only for her daughter but then a son-in-law and 2 grandkids.  Education was the top prioirty for my parents for me and I guess I feel I let them down in not finishing my higher education earlier.

Obviously, family, in one way or another, is the reason for me not being happy about graduating but rather I see it as a necessity and something that should’ve be done a long time ago and is far overdue.  I see my graduating as important and I feel relieved to have accomplished this but I’m not really happy because I’ve got many other things to do after graduation.  For me, graduation is not the pinnacle in my life or achievements.  Rather, it’s just another step in the stairway of my life.

Welcome to my first blog…Kristeen’s Khaos!